Friends and Work

Jun 5 2006

Recently, just prior to launching this blog, a bunch of my friends and I went on a weeklong backpacking trip into the Grand Canyon. Included in our group were two people I work with (two people over whom I have the ultimate work-related authority but who I also have great friendships with). When I tell some of my non-work friends that I include employees on my non-work adventures, they often wonder how it is that these outside-of-the-office experiences work, and how we’re able to separate our adventures from work and vice versa.

Fair enough question. After all, if you’ve spent any amount of time in corporate America, you’d have better odds of seeing the CEO of a publicly-held company eating lunch in the company cafeteria than you would seeing him or her engaging with employees outside of the workplace. Nowadays it seems that management is literally afraid of getting to know its own people (note that I said “people� and not “employees�). With all of the lawsuits that fly around as a result of inappropriate relationships INSIDE the workplace, it’s no wonder today’s bosses are hesitant to interact with their own people OUTSIDE of the office. To this I say phooey!

Like many people I know, I believe that at the core of every great marriage is a friendship. When you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone—which may or may not include starting a family of your own—it’s the friendship you and your husband or wife share that helps you through all of the complicated, rough and uncertain times. Whether it’s the melding and management of your finances or choosing what temperature to set the thermostat, without a friendship—which includes elements of mutual respect and trust—you’ve got nothing!

In marriage, just as in business, relationships matter, and that simple notion is at the core of why I feel so comfortable including two of my own employees on a non-working vacation into some of the most rugged and uncertain terrain on Earth.

A few weeks ago, Doba’s management team got together for an off-site retreat. Unlike other companies ‘management retreats,’ ours included nary a word about work. Not one spreadsheet was unveiled, nor was anyone asked to present their ideas for saving or making the company more money. Rather, over the course of 36 hours or so, the fourteen of us simply enjoyed each other’s company, albeit in a challenging outdoor recreation setting—we hired a guide service to take us on a low-impact overnight camping trip, complete with rock climbing and lots of joking around. The point of the retreat was simple… get to know one another better, authentically. There was no need for a ropes course or another type of experientially-based challenge. The ‘debriefing’ we did happened naturally, as did the bonding and friendship building, both of which have proved time and time again to pay larger dividends inside of the workplace than almost anything else we do.

The friendships we develop allow all of us to persevere and survive any rough or challenging patches we may experience back at the office, and that goes both ways. Some of the most honest and useful feedback I’ve ever received in the workplace has come from the very same people I’ve hung around with outside of the office. Whether it’s on a backpacking trip into the Grand Canyon, or a Saturday morning mountain biking trip close to town, our uninhibited but appropriate relationships allow the candor and honesty we need back at the office to be our very best day in and day out.

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  • Sandi Bird

    Can we clone you? And spread you around to our places of business? If Corporate America would read some of your posts and apply even a little bit, it would be great! I’m thumbing through a copy of John Maxwell and Jim Dornan’s book . The chapter titles describe you to a “T” from what I’ve observed in reading your Posts.

    This is how they describe a Person of Influence:
    1. A Person of Influence Has…Integrity with People
    2. A Person of Influence…Nurtures Other People
    3. A Person of Influence Has…Faith in People
    4. A Person of Influence…Listens to People
    5. A Person of Influence…Understands People
    6. A Person of Influence…Enlarges People
    7. A Person of Influence…Navigates for Other People
    8. A Person of Influence…Connects with People
    9. A Person of Influence…Empowers People
    10. A Person of Influence…Reproduces other Influencers

    I can only imagine the positive influence that you have in your company. I know that reading your Posts has opened the door for the Lord to start making changes in certain areas of my life. Leadership = Influence, and you’ve got it. Maxwell would be proud of you!

  • Sandi Bird

    Can we clone you? And spread you around to our places of business? If Corporate America would read some of your posts and apply even a little bit, it would be great! I’m thumbing through a copy of John Maxwell and Jim Dornan’s book . The chapter titles describe you to a “T” from what I’ve observed in reading your Posts.

    This is how they describe a Person of Influence:
    1. A Person of Influence Has…Integrity with People
    2. A Person of Influence…Nurtures Other People
    3. A Person of Influence Has…Faith in People
    4. A Person of Influence…Listens to People
    5. A Person of Influence…Understands People
    6. A Person of Influence…Enlarges People
    7. A Person of Influence…Navigates for Other People
    8. A Person of Influence…Connects with People
    9. A Person of Influence…Empowers People
    10. A Person of Influence…Reproduces other Influencers

    I can only imagine the positive influence that you have in your company. I know that reading your Posts has opened the door for the Lord to start making changes in certain areas of my life. Leadership = Influence, and you’ve got it. Maxwell would be proud of you!

  • Sandi Bird

    Somehow in the above comment, in my attempt at adding html tags to italicize the book title, I caused it to not print the title, oops! The book is: Becoming a Person of Influence–by Maxwell and Dornan

  • http://www.powersellerpros.com/ Stuart

    A bit of a late post here, but I just had to voice my agreement on this subject.

    Although friendships between superior and subordinant can cause problems, and I have seen such problems in the workplace before, great things happen when a subordinant actually cares about his superiors on something more than just a financial level (they pay me therefore I work)… people now put forth their best effort because they want you and your company to succeed as much as you do. And they derive much more satisfaction from their work as a result.

    I think it’s worth the risks. It’s great when a company is a family, and not just a place you HAVE to go to or put up with every day. You’ll always work harder for your family…

  • http://www.powersellerpros.com Stuart

    A bit of a late post here, but I just had to voice my agreement on this subject.

    Although friendships between superior and subordinant can cause problems, and I have seen such problems in the workplace before, great things happen when a subordinant actually cares about his superiors on something more than just a financial level (they pay me therefore I work)… people now put forth their best effort because they want you and your company to succeed as much as you do. And they derive much more satisfaction from their work as a result.

    I think it’s worth the risks. It’s great when a company is a family, and not just a place you HAVE to go to or put up with every day. You’ll always work harder for your family…

  • Sandi Bird

    Somehow in the above comment, in my attempt at adding html tags to italicize the book title, I caused it to not print the title, oops! The book is: Becoming a Person of Influence–by Maxwell and Dornan